The Utensil Wars: Spoons vs. Forks

*shocking* *surprise ending* *life-changing*

The two utensils on the podium having placed in the utensil Olympics. They had to go through a lot to get here, but in the end, it’s all worth it

Cheyenne Halverson

The two utensils on the podium having placed in the utensil Olympics. They had to go through a lot to get here, but in the end, it’s all worth it

Cheyenne Halverson

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When you sit down to eat, you have either a spoon or fork to the side of your plate to eat with. Now, you might wonder which of these is superior. You might believe that the fork is far better; with four prongs, it seems far more complex than the simple spoon. You also might prefer the spoon because it can hold liquids. It would be absurd to eat soup with a fork because, as we all know, forks don’t hold liquids very well, but isn’t it easier to have one utensil to rule them all?

I’ve always had a passion for silverware, but I’ve never truly had a preference between the fork and the spoon, so to finally establish my favorite utensil, I decided to create this unbiased evaluation.

I measured the different qualities of each utensil to inform you which is truly superior. They are ranked on a 1-10 scale in six different categories, and in the end, the average of all of the categories determines which utensil scores higher, and is, therefore, the winner. 

 

Musicality

When you sit on the kitchen floor, making music with pots, pans, and anything else you can find, are you more likely to reach for a spoon or a fork to use as a makeshift drumstick? The spoon is certainly the most musical of the utensils; when you hit a surface with a fork, you produce a thin, almost painful sound, but with a spoon, you create a rich sound that has layers. The fork simply does not have the roundness and smooth edges that make the spoon perfect for any and all musical endeavors. 

Forks – 3.87

Spoons – 9.16

 

Flipping Distance

This is a very important category because being aerodynamic is a very useful quality for a utensil. In this experiment, I measured how far the spoon and the fork went after being flipped off of a table, and I was amazed by the results. After much tedious measuring, I concluded that forks go much farther and are far superior to spoons in this field. The average distance of the fork was 152.1 inches, whereas the average distance of the spoon was only 115.1 inches. So next time you need to fling a utensil at your cousin, I would suggest reaching for the fork instead of the spoon.

Forks – 9.126

Spoons – 6.906

 

Breakability

(No utensils were harmed in the making of this article)

Although all utensils are made to withstand the test of time and brute force, they are not always immune to the harsh realities of the modern world. Both spoons and forks have a similar structure, but spoons are slightly more durable because instead of small, breakable prongs, they have a  smooth and round shape.

Forks – 7.25

Spoons – 8.73

 

Movies

There are many movies named after forks: American Fork, Back Fork, and The Fork in the Road, to name a couple. Not to mention the dinglehopper’s – I mean fork’s – starring appearance in The Little Mermaid. There are also quite a few movies named after spoons, including Silver Spoon and Spoon vs. Spoon. Many films about healthy eating are named after forks instead of spoons, so it seems clear that forks have a monopoly over movie titles.

Forks – 8.23

Spoons – 4.75

 

Egg Carrying

Another important function of a utensil is its ability to work with food, and a reliable way of measuring this is by testing how well it can carry an egg. After many trials, I found that the spoon has a much better shape for holding eggs. The fork struggled to hold the egg because of its flat surfaces, so it took more balance and concentration to keep the egg steady. Therefore, in an egg carrying contest, a spoon will give you the upper hand over a fork.

Forks – 2.95

Spoons – 7.52

 

Pets Opinion

According to my studies, two out of two pets prefer forks over spoons. From this, one can conclude that forks are the preferred utensil of animals.

Forks – 7.74

Spoons – 4.21

 

Popular Opinion

Many believe that forks are better than spoons because forks are quite versatile, whereas a spoon’s only advantage is that it can hold liquid. As The Spoon Song puts it, Spoons are simply “a bowl on a stick,” but forks can do so much more than that. Forks are perfect for all foods, and if you can’t eat it with a fork, you can probably just drink it.

Forks – 9.26

Spoons – 3.58

Final results

Forks – 8.071

Spoons – 7.476

 

As we can see by the total scores, forks and spoons, despite their differences, are quite similar and are almost equal. In reality, the fork and spoon are like the yin and yang of utensils; you can’t really have one without the other. But if you want the worst of both worlds in one utensil, you can always use a spork.