Querido Papá,

I love you with all my heart 

I’m sorry I don’t do what you want

I believe that I deserve more than what you give

And I find it hard to forgive

You with all those fights

Memories haunting me at night

and

I know that you struggle 

Your brain layering like a jungle 

Our times spent together 

Unpredictable as the weather

One wrong move and its FLASH FLOOD

our emotions later turned to mud

deep in the undergrowth 

“I love you”

Like really love you

Not the money you accrue

Because that’s how you grew

Thinking about money for too long

“You work too much”

Your friends are the ones I begrudge 

Choosing them over your daughters

Making me question if I ever had a father

You’re thinking of our future 

And I know it’s for the better

But you not being present

Makes it hard being in your presence 

“Stop drinking”

I plead but it is drowning under the clinking 

Now I’m buried in my bed to keep my sanity

Wishing we were above in the canopy 

Where all the darkness goes away

And the sky is no longer grey

For now

I will keep our relationship on hold

Till the end of the world

Lo lamento papa

With love, Emi